Ok so it has become clear that I am suffering from a nasty dose of “almost 30”.
Unlike “almost 50”, I don’t get to buy a stupid expensive car.
I do get to buy cheaper toys though… like a Paint ball marker! ummm that’s a paint ball gun for the uninitiated (something about mother grundies and promoting war like tendencies in the youth today).
Yup! That’s right folks I am now part of that l33t cr3w what like to paint their friends in Technicolor. Yup! I gots initiated too. Seems like I being a tubby lard ass on the paint ball field is not such a good idea. I am still all in Technicolor after the bath, but now with nice green and blue shades and not the happy day glow pink and yellow.
See I soon I realized that the girls shoot better that me. (chicks 1, ego 0.) And that I pretty much have to stay in a crouch the whole day (enemy snipers 10, Gluteus Maximus 0).
Then I only hit my first opponent by the 7th or so game (Red team 200 , my aim1), and then to top it all off I enjoyed it way too much (my addictions 5 , my wallet 0).
Ok so why can’t I call it a gun! (This is my marker! This is my Gun! This is for Paint ball! This is for getting myself it way to much trouble!) Well as far as I can understand it is that parents don’t want to pay a huge amount of dosh to train their kiddies to fight wars, when the army will do it for free. Hmmm yes I can see that paint ball is a great way to train little soldiers in the way of war… Lets see:
Lesson one. Effective range of the weapon is with in 15 meters.
Lesson two: Bullets fly at less than 300ft per second.
Lesson three: Who needs a medic when you have a wet wipe?
Lesson four: Arnica is a great treatment for battle wounds.
Lesson five: Yelling FREEZE! Is a valid form of hand to hand combat.
Ah well I suppose all those hours with violent computer games have been a complete waste.
Sleep tight ladies and gents.
O_K
6 comments:
cheap! Huh! paint ball aint cheap!
Yeah. I didn't want to say anything, but calling it a marker is really, really dorky. It's a gun. I can see it's a gun. You can see it's a gun. And it always used to be called a gun. Not calling it a gun is a bit like making the blood in games green and calling it alien blood. It might appease the retards, but it makes you look like a bit of a wanker.
what??!! i thought the green alien goo was... (!) omfg i'm a retard?!
1) practice makes perfect.
2) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
3) if you're still unhappy, then buy paint-grenades. ain't -NOBODY- gonna argue with you when you're holding a pain-grenade.
was that a typo, or did you mean pain grenade? from what i've heard, that would be fairly appropriate. if you are unlucky enough to get caught up close to the blast.
no, no - PAINT (with a 't') grenade. those things are the shiznit. and you get a fun weapon (*ahem* marker) that looks like a water-sprinkler, that fires paintballs in all directions. i think the only safe place to stand is ON TOP of the damn thing.
speaking of "markers", do we have to reassign all "danger" words in paintball? do we REALLY call a paint-grenade a paint-pineapple? sounds a bit silly to me.
paintfilled spherical projectile hurling device (tm)
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