welcome to Friday mother fucker

I love Friday don’t you? It’s the one fucking day that just has it fucking all.
It all starts off well with us waking up a quarter hour after we were supposed to be at work cause just like last Friday morning I switched the alarm off thinking it was Saturday morning.
Man I just love that feeling as the sensation of confusion is replaced with dawning realisation and then again with panicky. Hmm jump starts my day like good cup of coffee.

Ok great we are at work and the senior members of your immediate co-workers are giving you the hairy eyeball. God damn it its not like we are going to do any serious work today. And then it hits you no you will not be doing any serious work for MOST of the day. Some stupid effing emergency will pop its head up @ say 4:00pm and try and fuck your week up right at the end of it.

So its lunch time and thank god the canteen makes the nice food on Fridays. The thing is that everyone knows this including the insipid fucks in peanut gallery of anorexic health plans. Ye! I am talking about those morons that sneer @ all the lard asses buying their lunch. I am tired of having some fucking Adonis sniggering behind his hand at what I eat while he flexes those stupid gym muscles at every thing with a space between its legs. I better man for ignoring him, I am a bigger man for I can break this shithead in half. I am an angry man cause I cant get to the fucking counter because shithead his trophy wife and all his fucking leaky spawn have decided to cast away their stupid ‘packed lunch of body beautifulness’ and get the fuck in my way. Fuck just what I need a fucking hypocrite, a fucking hypocrite that gets the last of the calamari and chips, no less.

Ok so lunch is over and I haven’t gone postal on the canteen that’s good. Now let’s see still a shit pile of things that I am deferring till Monday. No emergency yet! Great!
How the fuck to look busy without actually fucking with this wonderful Friday feeling I have.

Ok 4pm and as expected a pesky client will contact us with something that is like an ultra emergency and must be completed before we can go home…. SHIT!!! But wait looky here the boss man is having as good a Friday as me. So email is sent and the client is told where to store their problem for the weekend. Ah yes this Friday is improving loads.

So now what? The work day is done and I now need to go party. Ah yes I will plan the greatest night out on the town since the sacking of Rome, booze, girls, fighting and a general disregard for all things healthy. Yes I think I will plot this terror of the innocents after this cig while I rest my eyes for 10 minutes.

Ok… so we know what happens then right. I wake up on Saturday morning about 3am wondering where the black hole that ate my Friday evening came from. I know it was here because it left a neat little hole in the carpet next to this cigarette butt.

I have to remember that, although cigarettes are dangerous, lighting one is like pulling the pin on a grenade. A smelly one at that.

Party hard girls and boys, have fun and don’t fall down too much.
O_K

Underslung Pinapple launchers???

How about making your marker fully automatic.
or just make it look like one.

Now ask yourself:
Are underslung pinapple launcers just a dream?
Aparently NOT!

Holy crap these peeps are bloody crazy! :) Just like me.
With all this loot to buy I think I will have a birthday twice a year.

Ok well its a short one
Sleep tight (if you dare)
O_K

They Gots me!

Ok so it has become clear that I am suffering from a nasty dose of “almost 30”.
Unlike “almost 50”, I don’t get to buy a stupid expensive car.

I do get to buy cheaper toys though… like a Paint ball marker! ummm that’s a paint ball gun for the uninitiated (something about mother grundies and promoting war like tendencies in the youth today).

Yup! That’s right folks I am now part of that l33t cr3w what like to paint their friends in Technicolor. Yup! I gots initiated too. Seems like I being a tubby lard ass on the paint ball field is not such a good idea. I am still all in Technicolor after the bath, but now with nice green and blue shades and not the happy day glow pink and yellow.

I mean it was fun. I got there with new equipment in hand ready to distribute death and destruction unto the infidel. See that’s where it all started to fall apart.
See I soon I realized that the girls shoot better that me. (chicks 1, ego 0.) And that I pretty much have to stay in a crouch the whole day (enemy snipers 10, Gluteus Maximus 0).
Then I only hit my first opponent by the 7^th or so game (Red team 200 , my aim1), and then to top it all off I enjoyed it way too much (my addictions 5 , my wallet 0).

Ok so why can’t I call it a gun! (This is my marker! This is my Gun! This is for Paint ball! This is for getting myself it way to much trouble!) Well as far as I can understand it is that parents don’t want to pay a huge amount of dosh to train their kiddies to fight wars, when the army will do it for free. Hmmm yes I can see that paint ball is a great way to train little soldiers in the way of war… Lets see:

Lesson one. Effective range of the weapon is with in 15 meters.
Lesson two: Bullets fly at less than 300ft per second.
Lesson three: Who needs a medic when you have a wet wipe?
Lesson four: Arnica is a great treatment for battle wounds.
Lesson five: Yelling FREEZE! Is a valid form of hand to hand combat.

Ah well I suppose all those hours with violent computer games have been a complete waste.

Oh well! I am off to find some soothing ointments.
Sleep tight ladies and gents.

O_K

We return to our regular programming!

I think I can return to ranting about things that piss me off without offending anyone, well anyone important. Psychologically speaking I am about as stable as suicide bomber with half a ton of nitroglycerin up his ass and a nasty acid trip.

Oh hang fire I just used words “suicide bomber” on a public forum.
Good thing I didn’t say anything about the Taliban or anything like that…. Shit fuck …

Hold on got to get the door.
Ok back again… Mr. Smith says that you should stay where you are and not make any sudden movements.

Any way looks like I will be looking into the paint ball dingus this weekend. Loads of time and stuff like that see. Ah the smell of paint the screams of the bruised! This is what war is all about!. Not to mention the taste of my own lungs as they climb form my chest to throttle me every time I run.

Any way it’s a short one today.

So sleep tight girls and boys.
O_K

P.S. No! There is NO comic! Bad Garrick! Sit! Don’t make me hurt you!

Please be a problem we have a patient

Due to personal difficulties this service has been temporarily suspended.
We hope to resume regular programming soon.

For those of you unfortunate enough to actually know what the hell is potting:
Thank you guys! The support and caring has been great.

There are two kinds of shit!

The thing to remember is that there are two kinds of shit. Theirs and ours, in-coming and out-going. Don't worry about either if you can hear it overhead, it going somewhere else. Problem with shit is that it has trouble discerning who's side its on. So it is best not to be where it lands.

So what does this bastardised metaphor for artillery have to do with me. Well shit happened, I was in the wrong place, it fucked me up and you get no cartoon till the weekend (if you are lucky.)

I did warn you not to hold your breath. The good news is I did fall asleep before 10 last night. At least I don't feel as tired as usual.

The hit counter says you are there but I need you guys to be a bit vocal let me know who is reading this shit.

OK girls and boys,
cheers for ears.
O_K

Where has a whole week gone?

Ok right where the fuck is the pause button.
I am so not able to keep up. Its not like life is being particularly difficult at the moment, its just going by at breakneck speed. It just occurred to me to have a quick update on my blog when bam! OH my hell I have lost a week! I must have done some fun things in this last week or at least I hope so.

Ok so why the lost week? Well see I really can’t sleep. And if I don’t sleep I just can’t do squat! I don’t even remember squat! Hell I’ll be surprised if I could squat!

Anyways… Cartoon yes! It is my intent to get something out every Wednesday. Ah but its Wednesday now Al! Ok Ok around Wednesday then. I am currently working on the next character. As there is no DnD tonight, I hope to introduce her (yes it’s a her!) in a three framer hopefully later tonight or even tomorrow morning early (hold your breath at your own peril.)

Oh yes one thing I do remember about this part week: Paintball!
Man I love that game! First time I played with the pumps too. Not so bad in comparison. That’s if you know how to look after them that is. At least they don’t break down as bloody often as the Semi’s do.

Well I was so keen on the game after Saturday’s session that I have decided to get a bit more involved in the scene. I will be looking into getting some gear as soon as my financial mess sorts itself out. (not really a mess, more like mismanagement)
As with all things I do, collaborators are desired! So if anyone has the wish to discover the dark secrets of the Cape Town Paintball community, please contact me. If you know anything about it and have some useful advice or information, uh yes let me know!


That’s that for now girls and boys,
See you soon (I hope).
O_K